Correspondent in the field and self appointed Pedant President - Martin, has provided a press release for immediate release that the Convention for Adhesive Ribbon Enthusiasts - will be strictly avoiding any acronyms associated with the name of the event.
We are sitting at his usual haunt Slurp and Blush and in a quote as part of the release, Martin enthused "I don't feel that reducing our name for any reason is appropriate here". He asserts that doing this is a capitulation to the language of the oppressed. A "systemic reductionism that has no place at our celebration".
"Yeah, I get it. Sometimes the names of things are needlessly complex like the active ingredient I just swallowed in my morning treatment regime and require this for palatability. There is no place for that sort of language here. There is also no need. If people choose to unquestionably utilise simplism and equally meaningless language then that is for them to do".
"Our convenors and members care very deeply about this ubiquitous practice... it is actually part of our charter". In what he says is a particularly egregious example of double speak while praising the plan as an essential and valuable tool, Martin cites SMART (Single-inhaler Maintenance and Reliever Therapy). "I am pretty sure in anyones universe, treating the symptom and not the cause of allergic asthma and calling that SMART is a bit more than an over-reach".
As he gulped down the last of his citron pressé, he excitedly exclaimed, "Amongst all the feverish triviality of packing their tapes and ribbons, I hope no one forgets the scissors".
